


Panic! At the Vocaloid Live

by Legolases



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Eventual GakuKai, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Master is basically their good dad and he loves them all a lot, Panic Attacks, stage fright, very and i mean VERY brief self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-05-31 05:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19419853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legolases/pseuds/Legolases
Summary: It's Kaito's live debut and everyone is excited but when he's striken down by fright and self-doubt, things only get worse for him. Can Gakupo, Meiko and the rest of their family help Kaito get back to doing what he does best as his usual self?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So when I was like 11, I wrote my very first multi-chapter fic. It was very bad and I did not finish it. Years later I had an emotional crisis in response to turning 20 and well...Sir this is my emotional support re-write of my old Vocaloid Fanfiction.  
> I still love Kaito, and so naturally I still enjoy projecting my anxiety on to him.
> 
> Here's my Vocaloid playlist that I depended on while writing this: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLMpB8C-xiVgmjgb5B9Y-ZdSX8VsXU-yzw

"Ah, Meiko! Perfect timing." Called a voice, "There's something I want to ask Kaito, is he up yet?"

Curiosity filled her mind at the notion of what their Master could possibly want with them, "Ah, 'fraid not, Master. It's probably best to assume he won't stumble out of his room 'till noon; the twins thought it would be funny to bother him until who-knows-when in the morning." She sighed.

Mildly insulted by Meiko's tone, Rin had to butt in, "But Kaito-nii said he didn't mind! At all! Not once!"

Meiko could only silently curse Kaito's soft-touch when it came to the younger Vocaloids, as her exasperated glare kept its focus towards Rin.

  
_[Flashback]_

"Rin, Len. _Please_ , get back to bed." Kaito pleaded, his voice laced with weariness.

It had been perhaps maybe five hours now that the twins had been causing havoc and getting up to general mischief within the confines of Kaito's bedroom. He loved these two dearly, he really tried to tell himself that so he wouldn't snap at them, no matter how much the situation called for a good scolding. Trying to climb into bed and ignore them had proven itself to be a useless plan of action when Rin and Len had thrown themselves onto the mattress with him and were now playing on their phones. "Not that I don't love you wanting to spend time with your onii-chan but, if you're not gonna go to sleep, can't you at least do this in your own room? It's nice and big, and just across the hall…" He doubted base persuasion tactics were going to work at this point, but a Vocaloid could hope.

"Yeah, we could…" Len started "but then Luka-nee might see the light on under our door and I don't want her to get mad at us."

"You know, she wouldn't get mad if you guys just stuck to your bedtime. Or just learned how to trick her into thinking you did."

Rin chirped up "Yeah, that's what we're doing right now isn't it? Luka-nee hasn't caught on to us yet-"

Before Rin could continue, the door opened abruptly.

"But Meiko-nee is well aware of what you're up to now."

A chill fell over the room with a mixture of the rage radiating off Meiko and the tense fear that had seized the twins. She grabbed Rin and Len both by their shirts before they had a chance to run and dragged them in to their own room and Kaito briefly worried whether her loud lecturing would wake the whole house up. He only had the energy to spare an exasperated smile of thanks towards his old friend and mild sympathy towards the fate of the twins. By the time Meiko returned to his now open door, he had already re-adjusted himself under the covers and taken the chance to appreciate being able to spread out without hitting a Kagamine.

"You really saved me there Meiko; don't forget to remind me I owe you one later."

"Don't mention it."

She could have left it at that, but the twins weren't the only ones she ought to have a word with.

"This wouldn't be an issue if you just told them off every now and then, it not gonna be the end of the world if you were a little tougher on them sometimes."

Kaito nodded wearily "Yeah, yeah. It's fine; really, they're just kids being kids. No harm meant, no harm done."

"How long have they been keeping you up like that?"

Kaito yawned "I don't know? A while? It doesn't really matter, does it?"

As annoyed as she was by this attitude, Meiko recognised that this wasn't the time to have this conversation and perhaps she may not even by the right person to get through Kaito's thick skull.

"Good night Kaito." She began to close his bedroom door behind her.

"G'night, Mei." He mumbled.

_[End of flashback]_  


Their Master laughed at the twins antics; he was just as sweet on them as Kaito was, if not more. "Ah, I feel bad for asking now but would you mind fetching him for me?"

"Not at all" As she walked into Kaito's room, she felt hesitant to disturb him when a full night's sleep would do him wonders, nonetheless, a polite request from their Master wasn't to be ignored. Still, Kaito looked so innocent while sleeping all bundled up in his blanket, Meiko settled for waking him up as gently as she could by carefully shaking his shoulder.

"Kaito, it's time to wake up."

"Hhnnn? Mei?" Rubbing his eyes, Kaito sat up.

It was obvious on first sight that Kaito wasn't close to being well rested; hopefully their Master wouldn't need them for long so her friend could take it easy today.

"Master wants to speak to you."

Kaito grinned and darted out of the room and Meiko followed behind. Oh how Kaito loved his Master. The pair of Vocaloids were greeted with a smile, their Master could help but chuckle at Kaito's dishevelled bedhead.

"Good morning to you, Kaito. Now if I could just borrow you for a moment, there's something I'd like to ask."

Kaito all but threw himself on the couch across from their Master, Meiko shortly after giving him a playful shove to make space for herself next to him, curious as to what their Master wanted Kaito for.

"Firstly, I want to sincerely congratulate you in regards to your increased sales, it warms my heart to see you and your beautiful voice finally get the attention you've always deserved. Now what I want to know is if we were to extend an invitation for you to perform in the next scheduled live concert, what would you say?"

Kaito jumped up in his seat "For real? Wait, really? Actually? I—Of course! I woul—would love to!"

"Excellent. For now at least, it'll only be one song but we still expect you to give nothing less than your best and to join the others for rehearsals. Now, shall we go tell them the good news?"

Meiko watched Kaito bounce out of the room with a grin stretching from ear to ear, for Kaito to have come so far since release was no small feat, she had witnessed the roller-coaster that was his entire Vocaloid journey up until now first-hand.

Things were hectic in the household for the duration of the following weeks as the inhabitants anticipated the incoming song list for their next live show. The screams of delight were deafening when an envelope finally arrived titled only "Mikupa 2012". Whilst Miku and Luka studiously looked over the songs they were to perform, Rin and Len were getting giddy over their Daughter of Evil and Servant of Evil combo that was always a huge hit with the audience. Getting over his nerves, Kaito took a deep breath and looked for his name in the listing…

"Pane Dhiria?" He tried not to let the disappointment get the best of him but truthfully, he was anticipating something that in his opinion, made him look a little cooler, like Cantarella maybe?

"Are you excited, Kaito-nii?" Rin asked from beside him "I am! I'm excited to see Kaito-nii perform! Feel free to ask me for ANY advice you might need, I'm like your super experienced senior when it comes to concerts." She boasted.

"Wouldn't Miku-nee be the most experienced out of all of us though? Stop trying to brag in front of Kaito-nii, though I'm glad I won't be the only guy at rehearsals, that's for sure." Len added with a cheeky grin.

Kaito watched the twins banter before him, reminding himself that just because it wasn't his first choice of songs he'd like to debut in a live concert with, it was still something to celebrate.

Attending rehearsals with Miku, Luka, Rin and Len proved itself to be much more fun than he could have ever imagined, from getting up early and staying late to support Miku with the seemingly endless hours she had to put in to memorise all her choreographies, to watching Luka gracefully master routines in what seemed like an impossibly short amount of time, to Rin falling face first after tripping over her own feet and Len laughing too hard to notice Rin grabbing him by the ankle to pull him down to the floor with her. It wasn't difficult for the other Vocaloids to notice the positive effect this was having on Kaito, he spoke with more confidence, he exercised more in preparation for the show and he as a whole had a brighter mood than before rehearsals began. With two weeks left before the show, it became the most talked about topic in the house.

"T-minus two weeks until the big day guys, how are we feeling?" Luka asked the table.

"Ahhh, I wish we had more time, I've still got so much I want to practice." whined Miku.

"You'll be fine, Miku. You're always great on-stage, try not to fret too much okay?"

"I for one, wish we had LESS time!" Rin announced "I get so excited for it sometimes I can't sleep! I just wish it would come sooner!"

"I wish you would be quieter about it when I'M trying to sleep" said Len.

"Oh shut up! You're just acting cool but you know we can ALL hear you practising in the shower."

Kaito laughed "Go easy on him Rin, I don't think there's a single one of us that doesn't do that."

Meiko could only hold her tongue in this conversation, there's only so many ways you can say you're excited or happy for someone before beginning to feel left out. Logically she knew this was irrational, her friends had no say in who did and didn't get to perform but she used to have Kaito to fall back on in times like this and now being the only one left in the house who didn't have a live debut…no, she wouldn't let herself harbour resentment at Kaito, not when he's laughing across the table from her, not when this had been the happiest she had seen him in a long time, not when it could just as easily had been him in her position, feeling her feelings.

She sighed, trying to push her feelings down and did her best to join in on the banter between friends, once the show was over, she wouldn't feel like this anymore…

The Crypton crew minus Meiko stood in the area outside their dressing rooms, going over last minute details. "This is your final scheduled rehearsal as a group, be sure to take full advantage of the venue and perform as though this is the real deal. There's an observing audience of current and potential business partners with their families, any mistakes will reflect badly on everyone involved in this concert and some who aren't. I'll only say this once: mistakes won't be tolerated." Kaito flinched as the stage director gave what he assumed must be a pep-talk but honestly sounded more like a lecture, did the others have to put up with this every time? His nerves were beginning to feel a bit frayed already. The second the director left, Kaito let out a heavy sigh and tried not to let the pressure weigh him down, this was all normal and standard procedure, this was going to be fun.

"Don't let him get to you too much, Kaito." Luka spoke up, placing a hand on his shoulder "His bark is worse than his bite, if anything were to actually go wrong he'd set things right before anyone even realised. Though he terrified me out of my skin at my first concert with that speech."

And there went an entire world's worth of pressure off his shoulders "Thanks, Luka." He smiled.

The process of dress, makeup and the start of the performance whizzed by Kaito as his mind began to buzz with a thousand more thoughts than he was used to having. Standing on the platform that would lift him to the stage, he clutched his hand in a fist behind his back, trying to ignore the fact that it was trembling.

There were a few seconds of loud music and cheers.

And then it was blank.

He felt both outside of himself and trapped inside the chaos of his own mind.

Heat and dizziness rushed to his head as movement wouldn't come to him.

The brightness of the glowing lights in an otherwise pitch black hall were hurting his eyes and not being able to focus on anything wasn't helping his growing disorientation.

The band had stopped playing, maybe?

There was a harsh noise coming through his headphones that must've been a voice, he might've been able to tell if the sounded of his fast, shallow breathing wasn't the loudest noise in Kaito's current world.

A splotch of blackness in his vision finally gave him the presence of mind to move, taking a step back, he barely got halfway off stage before the lights were cut, or rather his ability to perceive them was as he didn't feel himself hit the floor.

Miku, who had been waiting to go on next after Kaito gasped in terror as members of security dived in to carry Kaito offstage.

Meiko had been watching the concert in a small box reserved for non-performing Vocaloids, she was currently seated with Gakupo and Gumi, enjoying the twins perform their hearts out. It was as fun as every concert in the past had been, even with Kaito's empty seat beside her, but the second those opening notes to Pane Dhiria started, her heart jumped to her throat with anticipation for Kaito's first live performance. Then it consequently fell to her stomach when he seemingly froze onstage.

"What's he doing?" she heard Gakupo say under his breath beside her.

"I don't know, something's wrong-" Meiko cut off her own response when they all saw Kaito collapse to the floor.

Immediately, the three of them were out of their seats and rushing backstage, wanting to understand and get a grip on the situation as soon as possible.

Rin and Len were backstage after getting out of their costumes, complimenting themselves on job well done when they heard a commotion in the hallway, when they went outside their dressing room to check they were greeted with the sight of a member of security rushing over to the sofa in the general seating area backstage with an unconscious Kaito in his arms and a panicked Miku following closely behind.

"Kaito-nii!"

"Miku-nee, what happened?"

"Rin! Len! I—I" she was close to tears "I don't know! One moment he was out there the next he was on the floor."

"It's going to be alright Miku, let's give them some space." Luka was quick to join them, she did her best to herd the younger Vocaloids away from Kaito so they wouldn't end up over-crowding the member of staff tending to Kaito.

After assessing that the situation didn't require urgent medical attention, he turned to face the rest of the Vocaloids, nodded and returned to his original post.

Luka crouched next to Kaito when he began to stir, clenching his fist and wincing as he came to consciousness.

The first thing Kaito felt as he came to was a wave of nausea that made him try to bury his face into the surface below him.

"Don't move, just take deep breaths."

Was that…Luka?

"What… Wha hap'n'd?"

His mind was foggy.

But not for long as the realisation of what had happened hit him with the force of a train, his performance.

He'd messed this one up big time.

A failure of a performance from a failure of a Vocaloid.

He clumsily pushed his way past Luka and tried to stumble away from the others but before he could get far before he fell to his knees, doubled over and facing the wall. Pounding footsteps made him turn his head slightly to see a blurred approaching Meiko, Gakupo and Gumi. They were trying to talk to him but the same panic sensation as before was rising when he thought about the consequences of his personal disaster and couldn't even meet their eyes. The audience was going to be angry at an incomplete show. The audience will get angry at the studio. The studio will have to take action against him. The other Vocaloids might get bad press because of him, and they're all going to resent him for it.

It was getting hard to breathe again.

"Ou'side…air" was all he was able to communicate before he was on the move again.

Gakupo approached slowly, giving Kaito time to back away if he wanted to, before lifting one of Kaito's arms over his shoulder and snaking an arm around to hold him by the waist, "I'll keep an eye on him, you guys should probably go see what management wants to do about this now."

The other Vocaloids agreed as they went off the get a damage report on the situation. Gakupo guided Kaito to a back exit and almost immediately backed off to give Kaito room to breathe, he looked like he was at least trying to get control over his breath again and Gakupo felt helpless as he realised he had no clue what do to in this situation. He tried to help ease Kaito into a sitting position while repeating "breathe slower" and "it's alright" like mantras, neither of which Kaito seemed to respond to.

This wasn't how today was supposed to go at all and Gakupo could only watch Kaito get trapped in his own thoughts as it began to rain on them, unsure of how anything was going to proceed from here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the self-harm just fyi, if you wanna skip then it's pretty much over with after the first paragraph, keep yourselves comfortable babes!  
> Also like..Pls tell me if there's a mistake or smth in there ;; proofreading is for people with braincells

There had to be a limit on how pathetic a person can feel but if it existed Kaito was still plummeting towards it. He was getting overwhelmed, certain that that his emotions were going to choke and drown him. In a sink-or-swim moment, he reached for a piece of discarded glass and grasped it tightly in his hand just to give his mind something to focus on to avoid the whirlpool of his own thoughts. He hated the thought of pain bringing him relief but right now it was working and there’s no way he’d be able to let that go. Little crimson rivers began to seep through and stain the cuff of his coat before Gakupo realised what he was doing and pried Kaito’s clenched hand open in alarm and throwing the shard as far away as he currently had the strength to.

“Kaito, I get that you’re feeling a lot of things right now but how about you try talking it out before doing that? Ugh, I don’t have anything to clean or bandage this with, there’s no telling where that glass had been. We need to go back insi--”

“No.”

“Kaito--”

“I need to go.” and with that Kaito stumbled back onto his feet and did his best to walk away with the limited energy he had left. Gakupo jumped up and held him by the shoulders.

“Okay, okay, we won’t go back in, but can you please just stay here? With me? Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, I’m worried and I’ll bet the others are worrying about you right now.”

‘Oh.’ Kaito thought.

“Why?” is what he said out loud.

“Why? Because we care about you.” Gakupo said like it should’ve been obvious “You know this Kaito.”

“No, no you just. You just don’t get it. Why care? Why bother? Clearly I can’t do anything right, there’s nothing I can provide that’s equal in worth to what it takes to keep me going. I don’t rank in popularity like the others, my voice is harder to tune, my songs aren’t popular and I… I can’t. They were stupid enough to trust me with one song. Just one song to perform live and I’ve screwed that up too because when have I ever done anything right? When have I ever been right?” his face had contorted as he began to cry, accompanied by shallow, high-pitched breaths.

It was a sorry sight to behold, the image of Kaito, absolutely drenched in the rain, wailing his broken heart out, as his hand continued to be coloured red with his own blood. Never, in a million years, would Gakupo have ever wanted to associate this image with one of his closest friends, and never in a million years would Gakupo imagine himself to be so helpless to stop this from escalating like it did that all he could do was envelope Kaito in a hug and hope that Kaito would feel some shred of his physical and emotional warmth.

Gakupo thanked whatever Gods were listening when Kaito didn’t try to escape but reciprocated the hug instead, clinging to him like a frightened child and sobbing into his shoulder. He didn’t resist or let go when Kaito began to slump towards the floor again, he simply began to very slightly rock back and forth with Kaito, one hand moving up and down his back in a soothing motion, the other smoothing his fingers through Kaito’s short hair.

The blood from his hand was probably going to seep into his jacket. That was probably going to leave a stain. Gakupo didn’t care. And in this moment, if Gakupo’s head briefly turned to face Kaito and his lips were to accidentally brush against his head, that was between Gakupo and the Gods that were apparently listening to him. Now wasn’t the time, it really wasn’t the time to act on the crush he’d had on Kaito since they were teenagers. He mentally scolded himself for celebrating the intimacy he was currently sharing with Kaito, he wouldn’t become the scum that took advantage of someone as vulnerable as Kaito was in this moment. For now he would sit and hug Kaito until his legs turned to stone if that’s what it took to alleviate even a fraction of his pain.

He felt vibrations against his shoulder, which must’ve been Kaito trying to talk without moving from his current position.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I don’t want to see the others. Can we go somewhere else?”

“Ah, but they’ll worry about you and we still need to see to your hand…”

Kaito looked up at Gakupo with a look in his eyes, and maybe Gakupo was reading too deeply into this, as he often did when it came to his relationship with Kaito, but his eyes seemed to plead without words that Gakupo was the only person he could cope to be with right now. That he trusted Gakupo wouldn’t make his pain any worse. That Gakupo would heed his request because that’s what friends do.

He sighed, “As long as you at least let me text the others to tell them I’m keeping an eye on you. I won’t tell them where we are.”

Kaito’s eyes shined with more tears, ready to overflow, “Thank you.” He whispered.

The two of them walked in silence, Kaito slightly leaning in towards Gakupo whenever he felt a bit weak. Their aimless ambling eventually led them to a nearby park that was almost empty due to the weather. Seated on a bench, Kaito hung his head in his hands, and Gakupo continued to be at a loss for words. Every time he opened his mouth to comfort him, he only retracted at the fear of coming across as insincere. He once again placed his hand on Kaito’s back,

“Listen, I, ah. You’re feeling pretty rough right now but you know… there’s still time before the actual show, we can work on this. You can’t let one setback ruin this chance for you.” He said, meaning to sound encouraging.

Kaito let out a dry laugh “A setback? That’s what you’d call it? It’s my job—our jobs as Vocaloids to sing and perform and I can’t even do that. I’m useless, Gakupo. Let’s say we could fix this, how much work would it take in the next two weeks? How much attention would it take away from the others for the sake of wasting one song on me? Oh…the others. I completely wrecked the show, Gakupo, they’re not even going to want me back in the house, let alone on stage. What’s the point of even keeping me around? It was only a matter of time before I failed at something again.”

The way both his body and voice shook as Kaito laid his thoughts bare and bared his heart out had Gakupo’s heart shattering into a million pieces.

“Kaito…why? How could you believe that? Just think about everything you’ve done, you’re not a failure. This is what I meant though, you can’t just drag yourself down because of this, it’s not going to help you or anyone else. We want you, Kaito, for you. Not just your voice, not just your personality, not just your ability, but all of you. We love you, Kaito. Can you honestly say to me that you don’t think that every one of us loves you to the ends of the Earth and back?”

Taking a moment to feel overwhelmed by Gakupo’s refusal of his self-doubt, Kaito threw his arms around him like a port in a storm, seeking out as much warmth as he could get in the cold rain.

“I can’t quite agree with you on it all, Gakupo, but for what it’s worth…thank you, really.”

And with that, they sat together for hours, an arm wrapped each other, watching the rain clear up and the sky above them go dark. Gakupo was hoping that this would help calm Kaito, he looked down at him. Eyes still red, tear stains still tracking down his face and the dullest expression he’d ever seen come from Kaito.

‘He looks so tired’ he mused to himself.

He sucked in a quick breath when he saw the crusted red in Kaito’s hand, it had stopped bleeding at some point but Gakupo still wanted to tend to it properly. Kaito looked up at him questioningly.

“Ah, it’s gotten quite dark. I really think it’s time to head back to the estate.”

Kaito looked reluctant but equally exhausted, he wanted to go home but was scared of what he’d face.

“I can carry you, if you want.” Gakupo half-joked.

Kaito immediately got flustered at the thought and politely refused, which in turn made Gakupo laugh. Standing up, he smiled and wordlessly extended a hand towards his friend.

It was no small comfort when Kaito took it and got so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t realise he hadn’t let go a good few minutes into their walk home.

All Vocaloids technically lived on the same “estate”, the Crypton Vocaloids living together as the largest group in the largest house. Gakupo lived almost next door in a sizeable place consisting of a group of flats, one of which he shared with Gumi, who he’d always appreciated as a well behaved little sister. Over the course of their walk home, Kaito had once again started to lean in towards Gakupo, his steps becoming sluggish with exhaustion and the cold night air making him shiver in his damp clothes. Gakupo was relieved when they made it to the door of the Crypton household, he reached out to open the door when he felt Kaito’s hand on his wrist.

“Just, give me a minute.”

“Sure.”

Kaito without thinking fully leaned in to Gakupo, and he frowned when he was able to feel an unexpected heat radiating from Kaito. He cupped his friends face in his hands and saw that his face had become flushed since they left the park, his eyes were ever so slightly glazed over and yet despite his apparent warmth, he continued to shiver. Not typically symptoms of a healthy person.

“You ready?”

Kaito nodded and whispered “You go in first though.” And with that he circled ‘round to stand behind Gakupo, as though it might hide him from his fellow housemates.

Meiko impatiently fidgeted where she was sat, resisting the urge to look back at the front door every ten seconds. Kaito was fine, Gakupo was with him. He’d let them know if he wasn’t alright. Except he wasn’t alright when they last saw him, she just wanted to see him with her own two eyes and confirm that it was all just a fluke, and that everything would go on as normal.

Except how could he be alright?

Her mind kept replaying the moment he collapsed on stage over and over and it was making her nauseous with worry. Luka handed her a freshly made hot chocolate, as her request for coffee had been denied when she was already so on edge. They had sent the younger Vocaloids to bed an hour ago but she knew they were all waiting just as nervously as she was at the top of the stairs, with Miku agreeing to let Gumi spend the night in her room.

So she almost spilled her drink across the floor when she heard the door begin to open.

“Kaito?” she asked urgently, rushing to greet him, only to be met with Gakupo and a sliver of Kaito visible behind him, who may have mumbled something in response but she genuinely couldn’t tell.

“He’s…okay.” Gakupo announced, trying to ease the worried tension of the whole house “but I think he should probably just rest up for now, we can talk tomorrow.”  
He winced when he felt Kaito cringe at the thought of addressing what happened, but he needed to stop them from interrogating him now when he’s vulnerable. He did however lean over to Meiko and whisper as quietly as he possibly could,

“I need to talk to you, tonight, where he can’t hear.”

Luka, standing a distance away from this conversation, could easily guess the nature of it and so she made her way towards the younger Vocaloids.

“You heard him, we’ll talk tomorrow. I know you’re worried but what you need right now is sleep and what Kaito needs is privacy. Off you go.” She tried to say it gently, but it was hard to be a voice of  
reason when she was just as worried as the rest of them. She didn’t even look back at the three Vocaloids standing by the front door as she watched the hallway clear out before going into her own room to reflect on the events of the day.

“You don’t have to hide, Kaito.” Meiko said, sounding much softer than she anticipated.

He in turn mumbled a barely audible “Sorry.” Before stepping out from behind Gakupo but keeping his gaze firmly on the ground and fidgeting with his hands, his face bright red both from fever and embarrassment. Gakupo placed a hand on Kaito’s lower back and gently nudged him to start moving upstairs.

“Go grab yourself some water and lay down for a bit, okay? You’re tired.”

Kaito didn’t even respond, desperate to put off any discussion of the day’s events, he wordlessly stumbled off to follow Gakupo’s requests. Gakupo himself turned around to face Meiko, while she watched him leave.

“I’m sorry I kept him out so late, you guys must’ve been worried.”

“Of course we were, but we trust you did what was best for him.”

“I really hope you’re right…So what did management have to say about all this?”

Meiko paused, “They want him out of the show…they asked me to perform in his slot instead.”

“Without even talking to him?!” Gakupo didn’t want to raise his voice at the risk of being heard but he couldn’t help it.

“It’s okay! I said no…and it felt terrible. Just last night, I was jealous of Kaito for leaving me behind as the only Crypton not to be in this show but, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to have my live debut like that, I want to be up there on stage with him, not instead of him. Just the thought of him feeling left out the way I did hurts.”

“You’re a good friend, Meiko. I’m glad Kaito’s got you looking out for him, I’m worried he’s going to need a lot of help after today and I’m happy to give it but I’m not sure how well he’ll take it. Meiko, today, he said it was ‘only a matter of time’ before he ‘failed again’, I didn’t understand what he was talking about with that “again” but it’s clear as day this has knocked his confidence down to nothing.”

Meiko sighed “Yeah, I know what he’s talking about. I wish I could tell you but it’s not right for you to hear it from me and not him.”

“Right…” Gakupo said, a bit disappointed, “Do you want to go check on him? I’m fairly certain staying out in the rain after today’s stress has given him a fever, which doesn’t really help at all.” He gestured towards the stairs, offering the lead to Meiko out of politeness.

Meiko herself had more she wanted to ask Gakupo about, like where they disappeared to for hours, more about what Kaito said, and his own assessment of the situation, but she held her tongue and decided to save that for tomorrow because she was silently itching to get back to her friend’s side, her worry for him not subsiding in the slightest.


End file.
